


Teef, Buns and Me! (According to Kurt)

by kurthummeldeservesbetter



Series: Everyone is a Senior Verse [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Brotherly Fluff, Fluff, Humor, Shenanigans, Sleeptalking, Snapchat, Social Media Fic, Wisdom Teeth, baby photos, chat fic, hes the baby of ND ive decided, i dont know how snapchat works and i never will learn, kurt gets teased but its all in good fun, moms being embarassing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:48:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurthummeldeservesbetter/pseuds/kurthummeldeservesbetter
Summary: Kurt gets his wisdom teeth taken out.Sam and Finn are along for the ride.So are everyone else.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: Everyone is a Senior Verse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057049
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	Teef, Buns and Me! (According to Kurt)

Friday, 8:30am.

** Twitter **

** Kurt E Hummel @khummel12  **

If I tweet anything odd in two hours, blame **@samiamiam ****and @footballhudson**

** Finn Hudson @footballhudson**

What why? It won’t be our fault. It will be the drugs : )

 **Sam “Samuel” Evans** **@samiamiam**

Yeah Kurt. Blame the drugs.

** Kurt E Hummel @khummel12 **

I hate both of you.

**________________________________________**

** ******New Directions GC****** **

**K.Hummel:** ba ba ba! He he he eeeEEE

 **A.Abrams** **:** and so it begins

 **A.Abrams** **:** *Michael Jackson Popcorn Gif*

 **R.Berry** **:** Hi, **@K.Hummel.** How are you feeling?

 **K.Hummel** **:** dadadada, dododododo OOOOOOO

 **R.Berry** **:** That’s a fun song.

 **B.SPierce** **:** I <3 TS!

 **T.CohenC** **:** Oh, its ME!

 **N.Puckerman** **:** hw in the hell cld u tell wht hes sngng?

 **A.Abrams:** okay that song low-key slaps

 **Q.Fabray** **:** Is he even singing? Or just typing?

 **S.Evans** **:** oh hes singing

 **S.Evans** **:** its adorably off key

 **K.Hummel** **:** me he HEEEE who who who ooooOOOOOooo

 **S.Evans** **:** and vry funny

 **M.Jones** **:** How’s he feeling? Did the procedure go well?

 **S.Evans** **:** yep. All 4 wisdom teeth gone.

 **S.Evans** **:** nurse told us he needed more drugs bc two teeth were deep

 **Q.Fabray** **:** Poor baby. : ( Is he in pain?

 **S.Evans** **:** nope not at all

 **S.Evans:** he was upset at first but we calmed him down.

 **Mike.C** **:** what was he upset about?

 **S.Evans:** *insert video*

_[Kurt is lying in the small bed, wiping a tear away sadly with gauze filled in his mouth. Sam is filming, as Finn tries to comfort his brother while also holding in laughter.]_

_[“But de toof fairy won’t come,” Kurt cries, looking up sadly. “My teef! Dey took dem!”]_

_[Finn pats Kurt’s shoulders gently, handing over another tissue. “It’s okay, Kurt. The tooth fairy will still come. She’ll just pick up your teeth here.” Finn comforts.]_

_[“Yeah man,” Sam adds from behind the camera. “We’ll make sure of it.”]_

_[Kurt, now complacent with the explanation, wipes a few tears away. The video ends when the nurse knocks on the door, and the footage shuts off as Sam seemingly puts his phone in his shirt pocket.]_

**Q.Fabray:** <3 <3 <3 <3

 **R.Berry:** That’s so cute. Tell Finn he looks like such a good big brother.

 **B.SPierce:** the tooth fairy alwys fnds teeth, no matr wht!

 **A.Abrams** **:** terrifying addition, thank you Brittany.

 **B.SPierce:** ur welcome!

 **S.Evans** **:** little dude was a giggly mess as we left, so the sadness didn’t last long.

 **S.Evans** **:** nurses loved it

 **M.Jones:** Anything fun?

 **M.Jones** Besides off-key singing?

 **M.Jones:** Besides him crying about teeth?

 **S.Evans** **:** *insert video*

_[Kurt is lying reclined in the back seat of the navigator, singing softly and off key. He’s wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, looking out the window as Finn drives. He’s waving to cars they pass, going ‘hi! hi!” to each car that happens to eye him. Between notes, he laughs, and drifts to tell Sam about the clouds he sees. “Is….is bun…..is bunnn, Sam…..bun…..” Sam and Finn, the former behind the camera as the latter drives, hold in laughter.]_

_[“Kurt, what do you see? Sam asks from behind the camera. Kurt lolls his head, eyes glazed and mouth full of gauze. “Hmmm?”]_

_[“A bun. Bun” Kurt tells him, then goes back to singing lightly off key.]_

**S.Evans:** not much else, tbh. Nthng crzy crzy.

 **S.Evans:** Finn is dropping me and K off so he cn go pck up K’s prescription

 **S.Evans: @B.Anderson** u still meeting us here?

 **B.Anderson** **:** Yeah, Ill be there soon. Picking up Chinese for Kurt when he feels like eating.

 **R.Berry:** Awe! *heart eyes gif*

 **M.Jones:** So sweet <3

 **N.Puckerman: @S.Evans** u still gonn recrd him?

 **S.Evans** **:** oh yeah.

 **S.Evans** **:** I thnk thres gonna be mor sleepwalking fun

 **Q.Fabray** **:** *Eyes rolling emoji* Kurt’s so lucky to have friends like you two.

 **N.Puckerman** **:** hey!

 **N.Puckerman** **:** I care about Kurt!

 **N.Puckerman:** I just lke fun vids

 **M.Jones** **:** Just be careful with what you wish for.

 **M.Jones** **:** We all know Kurt likes creative revenge **.**

 **A.Abrams** **:** we will proceed with caution.

 **B.Anderson** **:** You better.

* * *

 _**Wild Wild West** _ _(Sam’s Private Snapchat Stories)_

_*Video of Finn gently walking a stumbling Kurt to the front door, Blaine at the entrance holding the door open, one hand holding a bag of Chinese food. Kurt is laughing as he’s gently dragged, Finn’s hands under his armpits.*_

_[Kurt] “laine! Laine!”_

_[Blaine] “Hi Kurt, how are you feeling?”_

_[Kurt] “Laine….laine look-” Kurt points to the clouds, giggling madly as Finn gives up on trying to get Kurt to walk, and tosses him gently over his shoulder, Kurt laughing harder. “Clouds!”_

_[Blaine] “That’s great, honey,” Blaine kisses Kurt’s cheek as he lets Finn in, Kurt laughing enough that one of his cotton gauzes falls out. Blaine makes a face at it as he steps in, following Kurt and Finn in._

_[Sam] “Ew.” He zooms in on the gauze, shaking his camera widely as he does. “Gross.”_

** Sam’s DMs **

**QueenQ30:** Why did you feel the need to add that last part?

**SatanLopez:** Disgusting. Unsubscribe.

 ** DirectorAbramsA: ** tell me theres more

** SamTheMan25:  ** Oh yeah. There’s more.

* * *

_** Instagram ** _

_** BlaineDAnderson7 ** _ _:_ _*Image of Kurt, sound asleep, wrapped in multiple blankets. He’s in a cocoon of fuzzy throws, and all that peeks out is his face. His cheeks are pink.*_

 ** BlaineDAnderson7:  ** Finally asleep. Looks so sweet. I predict sleeptalking in t-minus 10 minutes.

** CedesFire ** **:** Okay send me more pics. He looks so cute.

** BlaineDAnderson7: ** On it. He’s wearing the pajamas ** @brittbrittbritt ** got him.

** BrittBrittBritt: ** yay! Catjamas r the bst!

 **SatanLopez:** I like seeing this. I can’t wait until he makes you delete it when he’s clear-headed.

 ** BlaineDAnderson7:** I have backups. Check our google drive.

 ** SantanLopez:** *thumbs up emoji*

* * *

Blaine flicked through the TV channels, volume turned low and captions on, as Kurt slept with his lead in his lap. Sam and Finn were in the respective armchairs as he and Kurt took the couch, the pair being unusually quiet. He stilled, though, stopping as he was caressing Kurt’s hair, and leaned down, ear towards Kurt’s face.

“Shots shots,” Kurt muttered, eyes still closed. “Vodka or tequila? I have both…” Blaine stifled a laugh. Kurt was dreaming some wild thing again. Humming, he continued running his hand through Kurt’s hair. Kurt, for his part, kept muttering. “That will be…ten dollars…per shot…”

“Damn,” Sam whispered, a laugh in his voice. “Expensive.” Blaine looked up, wrinkling his nose and using a free hand to wave him away; Sam was filming again. Sure, Blaine had taken a picture (or, pictures) of the sleeping Kurt, but his Instagram was private, and Kurt and him took pictures of each other a lot. Kurt didn’t really care if they posted his sleepwalking shenanigans (as long as he wasn’t naked, which had happened once and thankfully had only been discovered on camera) and would delete them if he asked.

It was just that Kurt always found a way to get them back.

They were poking a sleeping dragon.

Sam ignored him, and despite his better judgement, Blaine leant again and kissed Kurt’s forehead, asking “That’s a lot, honey.” Kurt twitched in his sleep. “Can’t we get shots for cheaper?”

“Janet no…” Kurt mumbled, sinking deeper into the couch and Blaine’s lap. “No-no negotiating.”

“Who’s Janet?” Finn whispered.

“I don’t know,” Blaine hushed him, feeling Kurt relax back into sleep in his lap. Sighing, he adjusted Kurt’s blankets, making his boyfriend more comfortable. The reoccurring bartending dream seemed to stop, for now.

* * *

_**Sam’s Snapchat DM’s.** _

**DirectorAbramsA:** Damn Kurt makes expensive drinks

 **PuckTheFuckerman:** Kurt’s not in charge at the bar anymore

 **QueenQ30:** He’s going to get you back for all these little videos, you know?

**SamTheMan25:** These aren’t even that bad. It’s cute and funny!

 ** QueenQ30: **Just remember those words in two hours when he’s awake and not high anymore.

 ** SamTheMan25:** I think it will be okay.

* * *

** TheStageIsSet  ** **(Kurt’s Snapchat)**

_*Shaky footage of cars passing by through a window, from earlier in the day. Kurt can be heard going ‘hi!” as each car passes. Occasionally the footage goes up to look at the clouds, and Kurt can be heard gasping, going ‘bun!’ each time.*_

[Caption: tell me why I have 15 different videos of this same thing, over and over again]

** Kurt’s DMs: **

**GoldStarRach:** This is so cute!

**HumbleHummel:** glad you think so.

 **Blainederon7:** This is so sweet. You sound so happy!

**HumbleHummel** : Im high as hell : /

 ** Blainederson7:** I’ll make it up to you with a peanutbutter smoothie later. You can have a straw but ill make it homemade.

**HumbleHummel:** <3 You’re lucky I love you.

 **SatanLopez:** It’s gross how adorable this is.

**HumbleHummel:** thanks satan.

**HumbleHummel:** *Santana

 ** SatanLopez:** I wouldn’t be calling me satan rn. I’m not the one whose uploaded six different videos of you either high off your ass or sleeptalking.

**HumbleHummel:** WHAT?

**HumbleHummel:** GODDAMIT

* * *

** Twitter **

Friday, 1:00 PM.

** Kurt E Hummel @khummel12 **

So **@footballhudson** and **@samiamiam** are dead to me. Would anyone like baby photos of either?

**> Tina Cohen-Chang @GothicTina2**

What are our options?

**> Kurt E Hummel @khummel12**

Oh, I have bath time, Halloween costumes, food-related ones, Santa pictures, you name it.

**> Finn Hudson @footballhudson**

DON’T YOU DARE

**> Kurt E Hummel @khummel12**

YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF

 **K.Hummel:** Votes for which baby pictures you all get first.

 **K.Hummel:** I have many.

 **R.Berry:** Are you sure revenge is the best option here?

 **S.Lopez:** Shut it Berry.

 **R.Berry:** *frowny face emoji*

 **S.Lopez:** What u got, Kurt?

 **K.Hummel:** I have a lot.

 **K.Hummel:** I have easter bunny costumes, crying while meeting Santa, Halloween fun, you name it.

 **F.Hudson:** if u post ill post

 **A.Abrams** : OoOO things be heatin up in the hhe home

 **Q.Fabray:** The what home?

 **A.Abrams:** Hudson-Hummel-Evans

 **Q.Fabray:** Thanks for the translation.

 **F.Hudson:** Kurt if u post I post

 **K.Hummel** : REVENGE

 **N.Puckerman** : hes on the warpath dudes get out while u can

 **M.Chang** : Did you see what you wrote earlier in the chat, **@K.Hummel**?

 **T.CohenC** : It was very cute.

 **K.Hummel** : Whyyyyyyyyy : (

 **M.Jones** : Don’t feel bad!

 **M.Jones** : You’re very cute <3

 **A.Abrams** : yeah man none of your shit was actually embarrassing

 **A.Abrams** : to quote your boy, it was “endearing”

 **S.Lopez** : I liked your cover of ‘Me!”

 **S.Lopez** : Can you sing it in glee next week?

 **N.Puckerman** : ur baned frm bartending tho. 2 costly.

 **B.SPierce** : tell us mor abt te clouds! I <3 clouds!

 **M.Chang** : Were they “bun shaped” or “Bunny shaped”?

 **M.Chang** : we couldn’t figure it out.

 **R.Berry:** I like your pajamas. They look comfortable. : )

 **K.Hummel:** You’re all dead to me.

 **K.Hummel:** I’m going back to bed.

 **K.Hummel** : *Middle finger emoji*

 **A.Abrams:** *Laughing tears emoji*

 **Q.Fabray** : Wow, he’s grumpy.

 **R.Berry** : He knows we’re teasing.

 **R.Berry:** He’ll feel better tomorrow.

 **S.Lopez:** I didn’t even get to ask who Janet was.

 **S.Lopez:** She seems fun.

__________________________________________________________________________________

**_Instagram_ **

** QuaterbackHudson:  ** _*picture of a tired-but-happy Kurt, who looks like he’s resting peacefully. He’s no longer wrapped in blankets and he’s lying on the recliner.*_

 **QuaterbackHudson:** Ten minutes ago he was threatening to post baby pictures. Now he’s happy with watching old musicals. I’m great at negotiating. Maybe I can convince him to let me drive the Nav again.

 **RachelStarBerry:** This is a very cute photo and I love your confidence babe, but there’s no way in Barbra’s name he’ll let you.

**QuaterbackHudson** : Yeah, I figured. I can dream.

 **CaroleHudsonHummel:** Finn, this is so sweet. Can you print it for me later?

**ArtieAbrams12** : I got you, Mrs.C.

**CaroleHudsonHummel :** Thank you honey!

 **CaroleHudsonHummel** : Plus Kurt doesn’t have to post your baby photos. I can do that!

**QuaterbackHudson** : MOM NO

** CaroleHudsonHummel: **Which ones would everyone like to see? I have book after book.

**PuckPuckerman** : Man this day just gets better and better.

 **CaroleHudsonHummel:** Oh Noah, your mother sent me some of yours last week! I can find ones to match Finn’s if you want.

**PuckPuckerman :** IM OKAY MRS C

**QuaterbackHudson** : HA **@PuckPuckerman**

** ______ **

** CaroleHudsonHummel ** _: *picture of Kurt sleeping in the recliner, Finn asleep next to him. Kurt is resting against his chest, an ice pack against his face. Sam is asleep next to them, on the ground, cuddling Finn’s leg that is over the side of the armrest.*_

 **CaroleHudsonHummel:** My boys drive me crazy sometimes, but moments like these make the crazy fights worth it.

 **MaryEvans:** Oh please send me any more pictures you take! Sammy looks so content. Your two look so sweet as well! Tell Kurt I hope he feels better soon!

**CaroleHudsonHummel** : Will do! Kurt’s a trooper!

 **JudyWilliams(Fabray)** : Three teen boys! I can’t imagine. Give little Kurt my best wishes for healing!

 **JuliaChang** : So sweet. One teen boy is enough for me! Give Kurt my best as well.

 **CaroleHudsonHummel** : I will **@JuliaChang** and **@JudyWilliams(Fabray)**! Four wisdom teeth removals are never fun. He’s a trooper though!

 **RachelStarBerry:** I love this, Carole. They look so sweet.

 **BlaineDAnderson7:** I’m so mad I missed this in person! Wonderful picture.

 **CedesFire:** Mamma C you are just the best.

 **CaroleHudsonHummel** : Thank you, you three! What are mothers for, anyways? I have to take advantage of cute moments like this with three teen boys in the house.

**CedesFire** : Ain’t that the truth.


End file.
